Thursday, June 23, 2011

Home




I have been doing a lot of thinking about home this week.

See, 2 weeks ago this was my home.
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and now this is my home

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literally this.
one bedroom
4 people.




And yet neither place is really mine.
The house is for sale, and in a town 3 and a half hours away, and I will never reside there again.
The room is in the basement of someone else's house, and therefore not really mine.
Which leaves me with one conclusion.

I'm homeless.

Now don't miss understand me here...I am not homeless in the definition we've created for the word, because I do have 4 walls around me and a roof over my head. I have food to eat and plenty of cloths to wear, but really, do all those things equal a home?

I have decided that they don't.
I have lived for 2 weeks surrounded by stuff,
and yet
I am home-less

Less a home. Less means without.

But Melissa, you say, Home is where the Heart is.
Is it? Really? If so, then where is my heart?

Where?

I've thought about that a lot today, and have come to the conclusion that
it is not here.
It is not at my old home.
It is not anywhere on this planet Earth.
For my heart is in another world, and its owner is Jesus.

So this homelessness that I feel, this longing for a place of my own....
What is it?
Am I longing for a place to call my own?
In part, yes.
But I wonder, could it be that the longing for "home" has always been there, but now, stripped bare and standing with nothing, I now notice it?

Just something to think about.

linking with Imperfect Prose

"Birds have nests, foxes have dens
But the hope of the whole world rests
On the shoulders of a homeless man
You had the shoulders of a homeless man
And the world can't stand what it can't own
And it can't own You
'Cause You did not have a home"
-Rich Mullins

8 comments:

  1. oh friend, this is tender and powerful. i am praying for you as you find your home in Jesus, and as he supplies a place for you to lay your head and plant your dreams. love you. xo

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  2. I love this. We have moved a lot, and so I can relate to the feelings here. It used to bother me that we never really owned a home until I finally changed my perspective. This just helps me to reinforce my feelings about my true home, so thank you.

    And, I do love Rich Mullins...I sometimes wonder what kind of songs he would be writing if he were still around today. My favorite is, "If I Stand." There's a line in it that says,
    "And if I weep let it be as a man
    Who is longing for his home"

    It makes me teary every time because I feel that in my bones, that this world is not my home. It gives me comfort when I feel so out of place.

    Now that I've written a book, I will quietly leave, lol...

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  3. Lori, i love that song too! One of my favourites. Rich Mullins is one of my "go to" cd's. And its so good to know that someone else gets what's going on with me. Thanks for commenting :)

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  4. Home is such a needful place. A feeling of belonging, being able to be who you truly are, saftey, warmth.
    I pray you will find the place you can call home soon :)
    Thank you for leaving such a lovely comment over at my place.

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  5. Beautiful post, Melissa.

    I've moved so much throughout the years that "home" has always been tough for me to understand.

    Glad to meet you through Lori.

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  6. Melissa, I'm not here from the linky, I just came by to read your words. I heart your words – they're real, tender, honest – they have heart. I heart heart! And you're Bible verse brought up a good point – Our Lord was homeless – and I wonder if maybe he sometimes felt as you are right now – or at least as you were feeling what you wrote this post. Thank you for this – it leaves me smiling – and pondering – and both are good. God bless and keep you and all of yours.

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  7. it's funny...hmm...maybe that's not the right word. i'm homeless too...crammed in two rooms at my in-laws for the past two or three weeks. they've been a blessing, don't get me wrong. but, i long for our own space, a place to call our own. hang in there!!! :)

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  8. Hi, just me waving Hi ƪ(◠‿◠)╯

    just letting you know that I keep dropping by to read more of your words – I heart your way with words – and I hope the next chapter of the story is full of awesome. God bless and keep you and all of yours Melissa.

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