Friends, just so you know, I am not depressed like this sounds. This piece is merely a collection of thoughts and battles that I have faced over a lifetime and am still facing today. For some reason, God is bringing it all up again...and so I write because that seems the only outlet right now...
Heartache comes so easy.
The more I've given, the more it seems there is ripped away.
Or is it?
Could it be that I have over analyzed everything, read everything wrong, perhaps placed too much expectation where it didn't belong. I don't think so, yet I can't help believing the result is my fault and I am not worth the investment I was once given.
Why do I have such a low opinion of myself, not placing worth where is belongs?
Why do I believe lies spoon fed to me?
Why does this matter to me?
How can I grow beyond?
So much going on in my head but no answers to the questions tumbling to and fro.
With every lack, the reminder of what used to be stings. And with no rhyme or reason to why, the unknown lingers like a heavy blanket on my mind, tormenting my thoughts, suffocating life in places I did not know exist till darkness crept in to smother it.
Darkness....in desperate need of light. Light to shine in, shine on and birth Joy.
(and for my mind to stop over exaggerating an outcome that hasn't even happened.)
Linking with Imperfect Prose